what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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