Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
