Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
