Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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