He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
