Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
