she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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