was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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