absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
