I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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