Im at strip club and am horny
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
