Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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