You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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