wanna go halves on a baby?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
