I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
