I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
