1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
