He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
