next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
