When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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