Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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