you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
