my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
