so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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