i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
