How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
