glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he thought i was a dude.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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