so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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