whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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