Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
