Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
