you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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