So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
