One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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