See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
