We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
