So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
