Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
