The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
