I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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