Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
