Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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