it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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