Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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