im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
