I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
