I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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