i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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