is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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