This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
